008 Nashua N.H. Mate's grave before stone was placed
There was a surprising event on October 21, 1891. After an unusual courtship, Frank Hadsell, 33 years old, married Mary Esther Bowen (Feb. 17, 1861... Show moreThere was a surprising event on October 21, 1891. After an unusual courtship, Frank Hadsell, 33 years old, married Mary Esther Bowen (Feb. 17, 1861, in Copton, Quebec, Canada; died June 20, 1893) in Lowell, Massachusetts on Oct. 21, 1891. In his diary, he called her “Mate.” She was the daughter of George F. Bowen and Mary Bishop Bowen. Mary was very ill and spent little time in Avon with her husband. She preferred living elsewhere with friends and family. As her condition worsened in 1893, Frank visited her in New Hampshire and “carried some flowers…from mother’s garden.” Frank’s marriage to Mary Bowen Hadsell lasted 19 months. During that short time, they rarely even lived together. He first took notice of Miss M.E. Bowen in 1887, when he was 29 years old. Mary, born in Canada, was a money order clerk in Nashua, New Hampshire. She had lived in Nashua since 1882, when she moved there with her family. Her father was a foreman in a manufacturing firm. Mary had attended school in Boston to study drawing and designing, but after falling on a Boston street and being injured, she stopped her studies. Frank and Mary began corresponding. He thought her letters were refined and her handwriting beautiful. Mary lived with a friend, was artistic, and loved to sew and paint. In his diaries, writ-ten about thirty years later, he called her “mate.” Frank sent her a photograph of himself with whiskers on his face. She didn’t like it so he shaved and had a new photo taken. So began his rather tortured pattern of trying to make her happy. On August 8, 1887, Frank went to visit her in New Hampshire, with the intention of marriage. He felt, however, that he could not marry be-cause he was in debt, lived with his mother, and had such a small income. Mary’s health declined, but they agreed to marry in 1890. Frank visited her in Nashua and Low-ell several times in 1890 and 1891. The marriage finally took place on October 28, 1891 at her father’s house in Lowell. Mary had been shocked to learn that her fiancee wouldn’t be sending wedding invitations to his friends - because he didn’t have any friends. Frank explained years later in his diary that he had no time for that. “I did not call upon or go out with anyone. I simply worked, read my books, ate and slept. No social amenities had so far come into my life.” Frank had rented a house in Avon for them, and after the wedding in October, 1891, they set up housekeeping. Frank needed to get back to work, so there was no wedding trip. His wife enjoyed buying items for the house, but, wrote Frank, she was “disappointed in the Village, the people, the shop, and the place I held in it….” Homesick and ill, Mary returned to her family for Christmas and Frank stayed in Avon. Mary returned to Avon after Christmas, but in February went to Lowell to see her family and her doctor. In 1892, the following year, newly-wed Mary remained with her family and spent little time in Avon. Her health was fragile, and the Avon house was cold. Frank stayed in Avon and ate meals at his mother’s house. By December 10, 1892, he was living at his mother’s house except to sleep. The following year, Frank went to visit Mary in Nashua. He wrote that on June 16, 1893, she was unconscious. She died two days later.“ I had found my treasure - and lost it.” Clinton wrote briefly in his journal about his sister-in-law’s death. “Frank received [a] letter that Mate is very sick. He is off to Lowell.” On June 16, one month later, he wrote that “Frank has gone to Massachusetts. His wife worse.” The next day’s Clinton wrote that he had “Heard from Frank that Mate can’t live. It is what I expected. Frank has had a hard time of it. He will probably come back home if this comes to an end.” Only three days after that, Clinton wrote that “Mate died Sunday a.m. Marriage seems a failure in the family. We are all single now. Which will try next?” The next day, June 21, Frank Hadsell returned to Avon on the train. Mary Hadsell had died on June 18, 1893, less than two years after her marriage. She is buried in New Hampshire. There were no children, and Frank never remarried. In 1928, Frank visited Nashua to see “Mate’s” grave in Woodlawn Cemetery, and was relieved to find it well-cared for. After Mary’s death, Frank vowed to spend his life caring for his mother. Captioned by Nora Howard, Avon Town Historian, Summer 2020. Sources: as noted and from online sources such as ancestry.com; the US Census, wikipedia, and pertinent websites. Also see Nora Howard’s essay on the Hadsell Family (also posted on Ct. Digital Archive). If you are interested in conducting more research, be sure to see the collections of the Avon Free Public Library Marian Hunter History Room. These captions were completed the summer of 2020 (except as noted) and the library was closed due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Show less
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Permanent Link: http://hdl.handle.net/11134/150002:4082